Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Let The Morning Bring Me Word

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*I found this print on Pinterest, but sadly the link led me no where. If you recognize its owner, please let me know!

Yesterday morning I was greeted with good news. I have been fully accepted into the Masters in Reading Program at UT Tyler. I applied a little while back, turned in all of documents and waited. 'You must have an interview' they said(well, not quite like that but you know...) and I had to wait again until our internet officially worked. Interview: check. I was hoping to hear word before we left for Break, but no such luck. That's when I started feeling really doubtful. I told myself a lot of very negative things and put myself down. I thought maybe they didn't like my lack of experience or the fact that I waited five years after graduating to start my masters again. I worried. A lot. Just like I always do. I began to lose hope and faith in myself and God. I was so promising in school and now I'm a failure. I didn't sleep Sunday night at all--I sat in the bathroom floor, in the dark, and cried. Loudly enough that my sweet husband came creeping in to hold me until I fell asleep. Where is He leading me, I felt so lost.

But wouldn't you know, my answer arrived. I came to work Monday morning determined to email the Admissions department if I didn't hear back that day about my acceptance. Nothing at 8am.

 *Mild freak out ensues as I decide what kind of email I should send: Sweet and urgent or scathing and accusatory. I chose the former.

I log-in to begin said email and there it is. I don't even click it open; I speed read the preview looking for one word and find it instantly.


That one word melted away so many feelings of regret and sadness. I have been praying that God would lead me where He wanted me to go, that He would give me a path. I'm interested in so many things that I don't often know where I belong. I'm hoping that this is His answer to my questions and my longings to be successful and whole. I have been missing a career path since I graduated and I want so badly for this to be the right choice. God has opened a door for me and shown me His love; I now must pray that I can rise to His challenge. 

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