Friday, January 10, 2014

New Year Intention

I've read many blogs lately that are declaring their intentions for the new year. Rather than make a list of Resolutions that are sure to fall by the wayside, they are choosing a word to emulate. I appreciate this approach because resolutions are just that--Torture Resolute--and if you cannot stick with it then somehow you've failed. Choosing an idea to focus on throughout the year is much more organic; ideas grow and change with you. What your intention looks like now is not what it may be one month from now, six months from now, next New Year. This gives me a sense of purpose rather than pressure and I hope to arrive on the other side of this year wiser and full of joy.

The word I've chosen for 2014 is Trust.

This is something I have struggled with my entire life. I am continually suspicious of other's motives, I scrutinize the smallest decisions to the point where every turn seems wrong, and I certainly do not give God the trust He deserves to lead me on my path. In my search for inspiration, I came across this verse from the Old Testament:

"The Lord directs the steps of the Godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand."
~Psalm 37:23-24

This verse reminds me that I am not alone. Because of my stubborn nature, I often try to conquer everything on my own. I have never in my life been someone that asks for help; just ask my teachers in school--I Never raised my hand but I had straight A's. When a wall appears before, I Google the heck out of it and find a way to know it down or go around. This often results in hours of extra work that could've been spared if I'd simply asked a friend or co-worker. I worry too much that people will think less of me, that I will come across as unintelligent or incapable of solving problems.

What I keep missing is this: "Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." My unfaithful heart is too easily led down the path of doubt and self-destruction but I must remember that guiding me through the worst bits of life is a God that is gentle, loving, and kind. He is not leading me into these trials; I get myself in these messes and He is desperately trying to show me the way out.

This is going to be a year of big decisions for the hubs and me. There are several opportunities on the horizon that will require His infinite wisdom and perfect timing. This will be a good year and I am excited; pray that my heart will gain the "serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

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