Our Christmas Card 2014

Photos Taken by my sweet sister Kelsie @ The Candid Photobooth

We've done yet another DIY Christmas card this year and I am so proud of how it came out! Kelsie is a budding photographer on the side and we love getting our pictures taken(yes, we're attention-hogging theatre kids) so another Holiday shoot was a must. She did a beautiful job with our photos two years ago so now that we are back all living in Texas it was super easy. I love the light airy quality of her editing style and I added in a few Christma-y touches of my own with Picmonkey and ipiccy.com. I can't wait to print these and get them sent out to our family and friends!


Happy Holidays!

So Much on My Mind

My worrying heart is plaguing me. I feel as though I'm spiraling down deep chasm of fear, doubt, and regret. I hesitate to write about it here because most blogs are filled with the happy times: pictures of trips, new recipes, and good news. However, there is the other side of the coin; life gives us ups and downs and they are real, and honest, and should be shared because everything is not sunshine and rainbows.

I suppose in the grand scheme of things, my worries are small--but they are important to me and I'm praying that writing them down will help me see that it's only a list. A list to be checked off one-by-one and I will be fine.

Our future is so uncertain at this point. Anyone who really knows me well can tell you that having no concrete plan is akin to an unexpected tornado in my mind. There are a couple of things we do know: May 31st we get in the car and drive to Texas. June 6th we head to Virginia for camp. Once we get from camp, the plans are up in the air. No permanent dwelling and no tangible jobs. 

Thankfully, I have very loving and supportive parents because we'll be staying with them until we can get on our feet again. Joshua wants to take the Fire Fighter exam when it rolls around again but we don't even know when that will be or how many spots will be open in the department. My most current plans are to apply to Grad school and get back started on my Master's in Reading. I'm terrified that no one will hire me for this year though because it's been so long since I've taught and that was just student teaching. I probably wouldn't hire me either but maybe with this Master's I'll have a better chance. In the mean time, I guess I'll substitute teach to get me back in the classroom and also in with a few districts for when I finish my degree. 

In the mean time, we have a lot of packing to do and we have a lot of plans to make for camp. Each evening I start off with the best intentions to get things done, but I find that I just sit on the couch and watch too much television or spend too long on pinterest with pins that will likely never happen. My existence is so unfulfilled that the exciting parts just can't keep up with the lows. 

We need a new start for sure, but getting there is the most terrifying experience. I am praying daily for sanity, clarity, and direction. My trust in God's plan waivers constantly and I need to have faith that the other side is better....

My Hometown

Some people are really ashamed of where they come from. They say things like "I can't wait to get outta this town" or "I know there's somewhere better out there." When I was in high school, I felt the same way. I told my sweet mother, who has lived in the same town her entire life, that I would never live there when I grew up. It was just too small and too country for me. Since then, I've had a change of heart. 

It's funny how much your home can pull you back when you've been away for awhile. Growing up, I thought my life would be different. I was convinced I'd be "discovered" and would be a major Hollywood actress living in LA. Not even close. I'm an administrative assistant at a University in Tennessee. And it's beautiful here--especially in the fall. 

But I have a longing. My heart has been tugging, ever so gently, towards Texas for the last year. I miss my family and friends, I miss the hot summers and mild winters, and I even miss the sound of the train on the tracks behind my parents house. I miss the park with the crazy ducks that chase you around until you surrender your sandwich. I miss Chicken Express. I miss the feeling that wherever I go in town, there is probably someone there that knows me and loves me. I miss summer nights when we'd buy a Sonic Blast and it would melt to perfection when you leave the windows down. I miss Friday Night Football and the chill in the stands in October. I miss my Momma, my Daddy, my Meemaw and Papaw. They're all there, waiting. 

Soon, I'll be heading back to my hometown. And I couldn't think of a better place to be.